Finally found it. First heard it in the late 90s as a teenager. Stone Roses remixes are HOT!

This is what you get when you mix a great melody, intelligent lyrics, and a voice dripping with soul.

This almost qualifies as a bitchfit/rant session except I am not actually bitching or ranting, just simply sharing.

( Read on if you want to read my pseudo-bitchin' )

February is here and we just bid January adieu. See you in 2010. Below are some lala-lovely (totally my definition of lovely, in case haters stumble upon my page again) old (read: last month and then some) jpgs in my camera phone's memory stick that I dug up while updating my friendster and facebook.

warning: slightly image heavy

( Read more... )

Two weeks into 2009 and I think things are still pretty ok. Nothing life-altering or spectacular to merit a book deal much less a movie spin-off. This is attested by my three lonely journals whose first few pages lay barren like a poor little hot gayasian who outlived his QAF fascination. Mental note to self: buy the QAF cds that I just alluded to.

This post is all about my old journal, new journals, an admission that I'm a junkie of more than one thing, the ugh-ness of early January 2009 and a pic of my bf's back and nape while doing something on the floor (don't scroll down yet).

If you just scrolled up to read this, it means you didn't follow my previous instruction you naughty perv. If you are reading this due to natural progression...good for you; you read from top to bottom like everyone else. Hurrah. Sorry, I had a Daria moment.

Journals, Moments, and Weak Glue

I had a Gonuts Donuts journal for 2008 and this brown journal acted as my planner, to do list holder, and my version of a scrapbook with table napkins, cigarette pack scraps, and resto receipts stuck using stable wires, tape, or glue. Each piece having names, dates, and sometimes topics written on them to serve as snapshots from 2008. Below are samples from my 2008 journal.













I wasn't able to capture moments for each day even though in my heads-in-the-clouds state of mind I know each day should have been captured because each one had at least one magical moment worth documenting. I admit I was probably either too busy merging cells and lining columns or making Powerpoint decks to smell the need for white glue to merge moments with paper or I was in bed dreaming of my self flying in technicolor or was outside smoking cigs while thinking when would I quit the habit. *sigh*

But still I am happy how my brown 2008 journal made 2008 literally more memorable. Unlike the previous years that left me frustrated because I had no tangible way to remember highlights of the past 12 months, 2008 was captured in one way or the other. Thus I decided to use three different journals. It was a hassle jotting down appointments in front of colleagues or superiors and slips of paper raining on the table because the glue had weakened.

For 2009 I have three journals that I carry with me. One big red journal for work, the blue 2009 Starbucks journal for my personal thoughts, and one small black unlined hardbound journal that has that elastic thingie to secure it. The small black one is to keep my ideas in pictures and cut-outs I will stick using the gluestick that has taken permanent residence in one of my green messenger bag's pockets.



Sigh.

I don't know if I should start rearranging the furniture in the house again because I am feeling off-centered again which I am soo blaming for me not writing. Or I could just confess that I can't disciplined my self to write. (See the date of my last post here for evidence).

Life is happening to me! And where the fuck am I???

In the other hand.....

Like what Panda said...the beauty of relationships is that it gives the opportunity to influence somebody else and let that same person influence you.

I have effectively made my partner John a design and fashion magazine junior junkie like me. See pics of him in the living room going through my collection.



And here are some of the other mags I have to buy magazine containers for.



I will consider John an official magazine junkie like moi when he drops at least 800 pesos for a single magazine without any hesitation, doubt or regret, just one big smile on his face, a fresh spring in his step, and this great urge to tear open the magazine and bury his nose to smell the pages then devour the entire issue with coffee and cigs. And when he realizes he's about to finish the magazine he wonders what exact date the next issue will come out and who would be on the cover/guest writer/editor/stlist/featured artist or designer.

A good magazine (or book) has helped me kill time; a great magazine (or book again) melts the outside world and creates a new world in me.

Did I just write a paean for a magazine?

Told you I was a junkie...

I heard this song from Myx or was it from Channel V and I found it oh so tv-series-soundtrackish.

Unfortunately, the band doesn't have the specific song uploaded in iMeem but I did find the video in Youtube.


See vid below:



I've been out of the loop (more than usual) these past few weeks....my computer desktop looks like a public internet cafe pc's that has been used and abused by download-crazy students. I see cobwebs in some parts of the house, my room, and my bathroom where there used to be none. My attendance has taken a nosedive, and I almost totally convinced myself that I've relapsed to being the superbitch from hell circa 1999 after reflecting on how I've had treated my team mates.

All of this I blame on my stupid decision not to make lists.

Damnit. It was like an experiment gone nearly horribly wrong. Trying to take away one part of the formula and see what results it would yield. In my case, not having any tangible lists and totally relying on my caffeine and nicotine memory to tally, tabulate, and organize my goals, objectives, assignments, call outs, and whathaveyous have left a very ugly scene in its wake. Ugh. I am so going back to writing down lists!

And yes I am blaming my decision to abstain from list-writing with this relatively short post.=)

Long live lists!

This is a semi-lazy post...just look at the subject I chose to write. Mega-long post( Read more... )

A reader just advised me to pray after reading my last post.

I thanked her and I meant it.

But I do feel misunderstood. But feeling misunderstood at 28 is completely different from feeling misunderstood at, say, 21.( Read more... )

This is my second post that started as a comment or a reply to a comment.

Lately, I've been feeling off-center. Not sad...or not entirely sad, angry, confused, or apathetic. Just off...center.

Below are some of the things that make me say I am off center. ( Read more... )

This is originally my reply to Dalumat's comment. I think it's ok enough to be an independent post on its own.

-avoid pointy shoes, the bulkier the better; unwashed sneakers can suffice in the absence of leather shoes
-hide nipples, elbows, pecs, and slim waist by wearing a shirt a size bigger than what you usually wear
- comb hair only once the entire, use only fingers when styling through out the day; avoid mirrors and hair wax or putty
- wear pants that will never be described as flat front, slim, or dark washed.
- don't wear anything from Folded and Hung
- don't wear fancy colognes or perfumes; anything from Penshoppe or maybe Aspen would do.
- don't exfoliate and moisturize face for 2 weeks
- while walking stop replaying ANTM episodes or FTV; don't imagine there's a string pulling your head; stop holding your shoulder down and parallel to the floor; in other words, walk with no rhythm or imaginary music in one's head.
- stop posing while smoking
- stop smiling with one's eyes
- abstain from using the following words: divine, wagi, winner, chorva, echos, fierce, chenelyn, or the like.
- look bored, but not in a haughty, "I'd rather have a cappuccino and bonbons" kind of bored, just the regular, I'm bored, I wish there was something colorful, loud, or secreted beer variety of boredom.
- stop raising either eyebrows as a form of self expression except for authentic surprise.
- stop grooming eyebrows
- dump your bag (satchel, duffel, big black bag, messenger, etc) and just use a back pack.
- skip the lip gloss or lip balm. stick with using saliva, preferably one's own.
- when answering questions (simple or complex) limit answers to five words or less per reply. monosyllables, grunts, or mumblings like uh-huh, huh, uh-uh, yep, yup, nope, pfft are all allowed. no more need to shine using one's vocab.
- just grin or smirk when agreeing or disagreeing - no need for verbal assault or raised eyebrows. please see earlier note on use of eyebrows.
- when cursing stick to the F or S words using a downward intonation and not a rising intonation making the curse sound like a question or worse, an invitation especially when having chosen the F-word. Then append the chosen curse with words like dude or man. for example: fuck, dude. and not fu - uhck! which sounds more like an invitation than an expression of frustration or anger.

Post Halloween I am stuck in a cafe again thus explains this post.

I didn't get to sleep. Fucked up body clock as usual. I swear the television was created by the devil to make people stay in place until the world stops spinning. The only time I switched off the television was when I literally heard the cock crow. That's the beauty of living in a third world country, cocks aren't just another favorite gay word but a real thing that is more reliable than an alarm clock.

Anyhoo, while awake I made a list of things to do which I planned on finishing earlier (Saturday lunch until evening). I never got around doing anything on the list because first, I woke up past noon, second the house help left to go to some cemetery and I was left with my uncle. My uncle left and I had to house-sit. It was already 7PM when the househelp arrived and it was 8PM when I got out of our subdivision. Malls closed, spa closed, and local cafe closed. The only thing open is this internet cafe. Ugh.

Fuckit.

Ack. I think I got on the carousel again and I need to get off of it quick.

It's Halloween again and for the third year running I am dressed up something that I am not....a straight guy. Tee hee. Yes, my musings of dressing up like naughty school boy going commando or as a drag queen slash naughty teacher clad in leather ala Lucy Liu in Charlie's Angels will remain in my imagination.

I hope everybody else dressed up and has somewhere nifty to go to.

On to some other things...probably boring.

I am patiently waiting for my 13th month pay so I can pay of a huge chunk of my cc bill.

I have yet to purchase the makeup Trykehag recommended but I promise, Trykehag if you're reading this, that I will buy em CS makeup.

I am ssssoooo tempted to get a PSP only because of Diner Dash, Cake Mania, and all those games that have the same concept. Geek mode. But I also want to buy a laptop and a desktop for RPGs and blogging. Consumerist slash geek bug has bitten me.

Anyhoo...since nobody from work reads this lemme go ahead and just spill it....I'm thinking of moving out of my team even though my manager is grooming me to be the department's assistant program manager. If I play my cards right, I might get to snag a managerial position within the company or outside. But as queer as my sexual preference is...none of them appeal to me. I miss my overtime pay. I miss being infront of a class and discussing for one-third of the day. I miss going home and straight to bed because I used up my energy training, coaching, and motivating. And lastly, I miss waking up fully energized totally looking forward to another day of training, coaching, and motivating people.

Ugh. Emoterang palaka mode.

Just checked my mail during my break and saw three replies for different posts here.

None of them were nice , all of them were from an anonymous person who didn't bother to identifyhimself and all of the comments were trying to be smart and bitchy and at least one of the replies was grammatically incorrect.

The comments picked on my make up pictures and my makeup skills.

Yes, yes, I know that if one blogs and puts his works out there that it is expected to get haters and their comments. It's part of the game. I know that. That's not lost on me sweethearts.

Since I'm in the continuous process of filtering the things and people that I include in my life, I deleted those comments (thank goodness I selected the option to screen all incoming comments) and decided to write about it...ta da.

Whoever wrote those comments...*belat to the max* I'm just so bummed out right now because of other things that I consider your nasty remarks 20% annoying and 80% vapid (look it up in the dictionary, I have this feeling you'll need to).

To reply to your posts:

A. If I and my client want to put shimmer on the thighs, it's our prerogative. And shimmer powder doesn't automatically make things look bigger in pictures...unless your model already has huge body parts to begin with.

B. If you think my friends ended up looking like trannies because of what I did, you just gave me an idea...I will specialize in doing tranny makeup and then fly to NY. Most probably the sarcasm in that last statement didn't register.

C. Thanks for contrasting my make up's output to Jake's...and for the record, it doesn't take rocket science to know that the pronoun for male nouns would be HE and not SHE. Or probably you just forgot to proofread your reply. I sometimes am guilty of that, too.

D. And yes most of the pics are "tsamba" shots using the same quotation marks you used. What is up with quotation marks when they are not needed. I will have to review my posts to check if I indicated I used a camera phone. Sidebar: I can almost imagine you dear stranger putting your hands in the air and then clawing with your index and middle fingers to draw quotation marks in the air. Oops. Word vomit there. Not. Anyhoo, let me help you expand your vocab by sharing that you could have used the word "lucky" instead of tsamba unless I'm dealing with a snippy fellow faggot who has seen Clueless one too many times and thinks speaking or writing in Taglish is remotely cool.

E. For you and whoever bothers to read much less comments here....at least include your name. There's nothing more uughh-inducing that reading nasty remarks from someone who can't even state his or her name. Gutsy enough to bitch but not gutsy enough to leave a trace. Ughhh. Even thinking about snarky people like you make me ughhh.

Again, whoever you are....I wished you were here so I can just slap you only because I'm bored and I think you're an effing coward. Second, thank you to you because you gave me a reason to blog and use my meal break in the most interesting way this week. My few regular readers will probably love this one.

A lot of pseudo-bitches think they're bitches because they pick targets who they think won't answer back. I think a lot of folks mix up being a bitch with being mean. I am a bitch. Probably since birth. But I know I am not mean. I will not sandwich a demeaning and demotivating line between flimsy excuses for neutral conversation. I will give it to you straight up. If I hurt you, I will apologize for making you feel bad but I will not apologize for saying whatever it is I said because a real bitch THINKS before saying or writing anything. This gives whatever the message is conviction because it is not a mere knee-jerk reaction common to grammar-challenged mean people.

To everyone else......

SUGGESTED ACTIVITY for the WEEKEND:

Every time someone tries to make you feel bad whether with a sneaky underhanded comment or by making seemingly casual comments about us, our interests, our loves, or our lives...don't let them get away with it. Patulan nyo para huminto

Have a great weekend folks!

I gained weight (again) and I am going to lose the added weight and then some in the next two weeks.

I have this feeling our 30+ year old family business is gonna close down and I have no plans everything I have going right now to fix it. I want to respect the completion of cycle. I will rebuild it someday but not this year.

I have yet to purchase locks for my cabinets (I have a suspicion my house help opens them needlessly and rummages through my stuff especially my makeup)

I am only a few steps away from getting my postal id. I lost my old one. Pretty excited to get this one because for the first time it will have something written on EMPLOYMENT aside from the usual UNEMPLOYED that was tattooed in my past postal ids.

I am still paying off my credit card debt. I know that 90% of my 13th month pay will go to Citibank. I will apply for a BDO and HSBC credit cards after I get my postal ID. I heard BDO and HSBC each have less than 1% interest rate.

I just have this buzzing feeling that great things are in store for me in the immediate and far future. I'm as sure of it as I am sure that chickens don't have lips and that it's the Earth that revolves around the Sun.

I need to get my very first pair of skinny jeans within the week; my team is going to dress as a bunch of emo kids - skinny jeans, sneakers, and the scarves. It's like reverse snobbery; I have this feeling a lot of folks will be dressing up to be hip and cool. We will do the opposite; we will dress down and intentionally be fashion victims -- isn't that the idea of Halloween? Dress up as something you are not?

I'm back to playing with Neopets.

I will buy a PSP by the end of the year. My friend and co-worker, Panda told me a secret in buying cheap PSPs....hit the pawnshops and buy pretty new PSPs some dude pawned to pay for whatever.

I am still waiting for a reply from my photographer contacts after sending them some pegs of what the looks I want to do for a pictorial.

I am patiently and excitedly waiting for pay day to arrive. I am buying some coastal scents over at eBay thanks to Trykehag. Another amount to be added to my credit card debt...but I know this will be a true investment. Makeup mania!

Picture heavy. A bunch of makeup pics taken last week when I was either bored, pissed, or sleepy. Putting makeup on my staff seems to make my brain produce more endorphin.

I threw in one before-and-after pair again just for kicks.

Karen's Before and After


Thea's Smokey eyes and Nude lips




And a few more of Lebbie




Here are some of Joan's pics taken in my living room, right before we went out

http://heyvakes.multiply.com/photos/hi-res/upload/SPHUowoKCngAAGG-Dzg1http://heyvakes.multiply.com/photos/hi-res/upload/SPHUGQoKCngAAFo03Z41

I am dating someone who said that he will support me when I decide I'm ready to stop smoking. No laughter, no condescension, no raised eyebrows.

He made me smile.

Below are my top picks from the latest America's Next Top Model episode. The team was depicting natural disasters with a retro-glamour feel.

MARJORIE - TRAFFIC JAM

LAUREN BRIE - SNOW STORM

MCKEY - HEATWAVE

Below are my three favorite pics from the fifth episode of America's Next Top Model Cycle 11.

The theme was posing with your eyes. The shoot was done at the pool and all the contestants relied on expressing emotions using their eyes since nearly 4/5 of their bodies were under water.

( Pics under cut )